Barnaby Webber, 19, was stabbed to death by Paranoid schizophrenic Valdo Calocane alongside fellow student Grace O’Malley-Kumar and school caretaker Ian Coates one year ago
The day Barnaby Webber’s dog died, he put the stuffed toy on his bed and hasn’t touched it since.
Dougie, an 11-year-old rescued Jack Russell-Chihuahua mix, went into the boy’s bedroom on June 13 last year. He put the cute giraffe on Barnaby’s bed.
The giraffe had been on Barnaby’s bed since the day he lost his life, with Grace O’Malley Kumar, 19, and school caretaker Ian Coates, 65, from Nottingham. “Bernie loved Dougie.
He called him ‘big man’. Every night Emma goes into the bedroom to switch the light on and comes back before bed to switch the light off. “It’s just something I enjoy doing,” Emma said. “It’s reassuring to know he’s still there. Maybe wherever she goes she’s greeted with memories of her older son, who excelled at cricket and rugby.
“I miss him,” she said. “His presence. To see him. Just knowing he’s here.” He’s been there every single time for those 20 years. From my conception to the day he first came into the world. Just this space, this emptiness. It doesn’t get any easier than that.
“That’s the problem with grief: Little things can upset you. It could be anything. A song, a memory, a road sign, a place you’ve been. Taunton is a big town but there isn’t anywhere in town that doesn’t remind you of him in some way.”
Cards and letters arrive almost daily, addressed to “Barney’s Parents, Taunton,” at the family home. Wish-granters send gifts like handmade pebbles and crystal dreamcatchers. I think it shows us that even in a really dark world, there is also good,” Emma said.
“It’s easy to think that everything is bad. If I had a pound for every time I hear the words ‘I can’t imagine what you’re going through’, ‘I have kids the same age’, ‘This is every parent’s nightmare’ I could pay off my mortgage. I don’t say this lightly because I’m probably saying all these things, but it hurts.
“When you hear ‘I can’t imagine’, as a parent you think ‘I’m just glad my child is safe’. It sounds cruel but that’s not because that’s the way we think. But I would rather have people say something than not say anything. I was walking my dog yesterday and a woman stopped and said, “You’re Barnaby’s mom, aren’t you?”
“I could see her thinking, ‘Damn, what do I say?’ But she said, ‘I just want to let you know that I’m always thinking about you. She’s an older woman and people are mostly decent.’ It’s hard being in the public eye. It’s hard to be recognised. It’s not because you win an Olympic medal or become a big actress.
“I have been made aware of this tragedy and people have really sympathised with me but I respect those who make the effort to say something anyway because it’s not easy. In M&S a woman saw me coming in, came up to me and bought me a bouquet of flowers – little things like this are so lovely.”
The families of Barnaby, Grace and Ian will join friends and hundreds of students for a wake at the University of Nottingham this lunchtime. A series of shocking failings by police, mental health services and the NHS continue to be investigated.
Nottinghamshire Police said: “In accordance with existing [NPCC/IOPC] protocol, Nottinghamshire Police is unable to comment directly on matters which are the subject of the ongoing independent investigation into complaints made through the IOPC by the families of Valdo Caloocan’s victims.”
“This is to avoid any potential prejudice to future legal proceedings. This is standard practice applied to all police forces when the IOPC investigates cases. We are cooperating fully with and supporting the IOPC’s investigation.”
Speaking ahead of today’s vigil, Police Commissioner Kate Meynell said: “The morning of 13 June 2023 saw a devastating event take place in our city which has resulted in the loss of three innocent lives.”
: “My thoughts today are with the family and friends of Barnaby, Grace and Ian and those who were seriously injured. On behalf of everyone in Nottinghamshire Police, I will lay a wreath in their memory, light a candle and pay tribute, along with other local community leaders. We will never forget this tragic loss of life.”
